Documentary: Loving Lampposts

Loving Lampposts is a thoughtful and intelligent documentary by Todd Drezner about autism, neurodiversity, society’s viewpoint of the diagnosis and how that impacts the way we treat autistic individuals, both medically and personally. I was excited to see that this balanced and open minded film is available on Netflix instant watch.

Drezner’s son Sam, was diagnosed with PDD-NOS as a toddler. He seems to be an easy-going child, although quirky and not very social. (I won’t say “high functioning”, because the film offers a thought provoking conversation on that term.) The film’s title comes from Sam’s early special interest in and connection to a group of lampposts near his home. Visiting the lampposts is an important ritual for Sam as a child.

But the film is much more than a look at one family’s experience with their special needs child. Drenzer thoughtfully examines the big questions about whether autism is an illness to be cured or a difference to be accepted. In his interview with Steve Silberman of the blog Neurotribes, Drenzer discusses how he views autism as a difference as well as a disability. I appreciate this realistic and still respectful stance. In the documentary, Drenzer manages to interview many of the big names in autism science, such as Simon Baron-Cohen, and Paul Offit. He talks to parents of autistic children, like AutismVox blogger Christina Chew, and author Roy Grinker, and autism Playboy Bunny Jenny McCarthy.

The most exciting group in the film is the widely diverse group of autistic adults represented. So often the focus of research, treatment and policy is on children, leaving autistic adults as the forgotten majority. Drenzer talks to artist Dora Raymaker of AASPIRE, Sharisa Joy Kochmeister of AutCom, author Stephen Shore, as well as others. The film celebrate the gifts these individuals bring, while not ignoring their difficulties.

Loving Lampposts is entertaining and informative, well worth watching.

Autistic Artists: Chris Murray

Perhaps because the visual world is so intense for many autistic individuals, there are a number of excellent autistic artists. I recently blogged about artist Ping Lian Yeak, a young autistic man who displays his artwork in shows around the world. Chris Murray, the subject of the documentary Dad’s In Heaven with Nixon is another successful autistic artist. Murray, who lives independently and has worked in several jobs for a number of years, could easily support himself through his art, but has chosen to keep it as a side project.

I recently purchased Murray’s poster “Red Brick” for my office. While every artist is different, I think this work really highlights some of the strengths of autism. While the work is a cohesive whole, the details are more compelling than is often the case in more neurotypical work. Murray painstakingly represents each window, brick and taxicab. But the details don’t overwhelm, because the rhythm of the piece is so apparent. The detail I enjoy the most is that the artist isn’t constrained by taking just one point of view. Each aspect is represented from its most interesting viewpoint. The building is seen head on, the taxis driving away have a regular top down spacing, and those passing in front of the building are seen from the side. Somehow, although this is different than what we’re used to seeing in a representational painting, it works, maybe because it captures the details much the way we would notice them individually. The tension between whimsy and structure makes this a much more sophistocated work than it might appear to be at first.

You can learn about the excellent documentary, and see some examples of Chris Murray’s work on the Dad's In Heaven with Nixon Movie website.

Autistic Artists

Autism brings special talents as well as difficulties, and one area where this is especially evident is in the realm of art. I’m in the process of moving my office this month, and while decorating, I found a number of examples of excellent art created by autistic individuals.

One such talented artist is Ping Lian Yeak, a 17 year old boy, born in Malaysia and now living in Australia. Ping Lian began an art based program as part of a behavioral plan, to encourage him to learn fine motor skills. After a while, rote tracing was replaced by drawing his own works. For the last several years, Ping Lian has been featured in a number of television programs, and he has displayed his work in galleries around the world.

A visit to Ping Lian Yeak's website  shows just how appealing the artwork is. A focus on details is balanced by strong compositional elements. With a quirky sense of perspective and bright, lively colors, the work is energetic and alive. There are many examples displayed online, and a full array of prints for sale. I had a hard time limiting myself to a few.

Ingenious Minds

A new documentary series, Ingenious Minds, from the producers of Hoarders, premiered this month on Thursdays on the Science Channel.  As described on the website, “Enter the lives of savants: individuals who possess an extraordinary ability in areas such as art, music and mathematics, while also suffering from intellectual and developmental disabilities.”

The series draws heavily on the expertise of Psychiatrist Darold Treffert, an expert on Savant Syndrome and author of several books on the topic. Savant Syndrome, according to Treffert’s reporting, occurs in as many as 10 percent of autistic individuals, as well as others with differing diagnoses.

One early episode of the show features John Elder Robison, author of Look Me in The Eye, which I reviewed in an earlier post. Another episode is about an autistic young man who is also a world ranked pinball player. Temple Grandin will be featured in an upcoming episode.

Parenthood and Misleading Divorce Statistics

I'm never quite up to date on TV viewing, since I watch everything off my DVR, so I'm commenting about a show from a few weeks ago. Parenthood, Season 2, Episode 4, which features a family dealing with a child's Asperger's, talked about the dreaded divorce statistic "80% of families with an autistic kid get divorced."

Fortunately, that's just not true. The 80% statistic is an enduring myth I see quoted frequently, but studies just don't back it up. The divorce rate seems to be about the same, whether a child is autistic or not. Even worse, the show quoted that the character's therapist told her that it was true. Lesson 1: Don't believe everything your therapist tells you! Lesson 2: Just because your child is autistic, doesn't mean you're doomed to divorce.

You can read an earlier discussion of this topic on my Divorce and Autism post. Please don't skip the show because of one bad statistic. Autistic kids are varied, and every family is different, but in general, Parenthood seems to do a pretty good job of presenting the joys and struggles of raising an autistic child.

Dad’s in Heaven with Nixon: Film Review

Dad’s in Heaven With Nixon is a touching film about a close, multigenerational family and their struggles with mental illness, alcoholism, and autism. In spite of all these difficulties, the family’s bond shines through the film. The real beauty of this documentary is the loving relationships it shows between Christopher, a gifted and successful artist with autism, his aging mother, and his brother and the film’s creator, Tom Murray. Christopher, born in 1960, suffered oxygen deprivation at birth and was later diagnosed with autism. Certainly, the 1960s and 1970s were not a time of great information about helping those with autism, and Christopher underwent a number of therapies. His mother talks about how she was uncertain of how these therapies were working, but that she did determine that loving her son would help him, and how she and all the siblings worked together to encourage his development. In seeing the now adult Christopher it’s apparent how successful she was in her efforts. Christopher Murray is a charming and capable adult, living on his own and successfully holding two jobs as well as succeeding as an artist. He seems to have continued with his loving relationship with both his mother and his older brother.
The alternate story woven through the film is of the Murray’s father and grandfather. Through old films and family pictures,  Tom Murray narrates the story of the men’s difficult lives, including chronic drinking, mood swings, financial difficulties and probable depression and bipolar disorder. It’s an intriguing juxtaposition with the story of autism in comparison. So often, parents despair of an autism diagnosis, and it’s refreshing to see a representation of a happy and successful adult on the spectrum, and how he contributes so positively to his family.

The film is presented regularly on Showtime. You can get more info, and view Chris Murray’s artwork on the film’s website.

Social Thinking Across the Home and School Day

How do you learn best? When working with clients, I find most of my clients are visual learners. That means supplementing our discussions with sketches and graphs and pictures can make things much clearer. Other people learn best experientially, in which case we might act things out and role play. A lot of people, myself included, love to learn by reading.  Many people, when first diagnosed, or when trying to understand a new phase in their lives, turn to book for ideas and answers. For you readers, I’ve got lots of book reviews on this blog. Then there are those individuals who are auditory processors. A lecture, a recording, a conference may be the best way for auditory processors to take in new material.

The four hour DVD set from Michelle Garcia Winner, Social Thinking Across the Home and School Day is an excellent resource for those who want something different than a book. The first two hours are a filmed lecture from Michelle Garcia Winner, where she presents her ideas in her typical clear, detailed, and easy to understand manner. The material is quite similar to what she presents in her books, but if you’d rather have the ideas clearly explained, this is a great resource. The second two hours demonstrates Garcia Winner with school age students, individually and in groups. Although Garcia Winner is demonstrating her social skills groups, the techniques and ideas can be useful to parents hoping to work with their children, as well as individuals trying to pick up these skills themselves. Often, people find that it can be tough to go from the theory about an idea to the application, and demonstrations like these may be just what it take to make these ideas clear.

These DVDs are designed for the parents of children on the spectrum, as well as teachers and professionals. Garcia Winner talks extensively about her communication model, as well as how a diagnosis such as Asperger’s or autism can impact learning as well as social relations. But there’s so little out there for adults on the spectrum, this material could be useful for adults as well. You can find the DVDs, as well as other materials on Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking website.

Today’s Man: A Documentary Film

What will happen to all the autistic children when they grow up? Who’s going to care for them, employ them, love them? What about when their parents can’t be there to manage things? These are a few of the tough questions that are explored in the haunting 2006 film, Today’s Man, by Lizzie Gottlieb, which chronicles six years in the life of her brother Nicky, diagnosed at the age of 21 with Asperger’s.

Adults with Asperger’s often struggle with a world where they don’t quite fit in. They’re often bright and talented, but chronically underemployed. Frequently they long for connection, but too often they can’t find a social circle of their own, and spend time alone or only with family. Many Asperger’s adults long to date, but can’t find a romantic partner.

Nicky Gottlieb, now in his late 20s, deals with all of these issues in this film. Until he was an adult, his Asperger’s was undiagnosed, but his family knew he was always different. He had extraordinary abilities, such as unusual math and language skills, but almost no ability to read social cues or manage the responsibilities of daily living. The film features Nicky’s New York family of loving, quirky intellectuals, including his sister Lizzie, the film’s producer. Nicky’s attempts to find employment are documented, showing his difficulty in coping with the boredom and rules of his job.  We also follow Nicky to a support group session, featuring some of the familiar faces from GRASP.

The film is tough because, as in life, there are no easy answers, and the story doesn’t wrap up neatly. I found myself searching online for the next chapter of his story, but couldn’t find much of an update. The genuine love and caring of this family shine through the film, and Nicky’s spirit inspires, so this is a film that you’ll remember long after the viewing is over.

Emmy Winner ‘Temple Grandin’

Last night’s Emmys awarded the television movie ‘Temple Grandin’ the win for Outstanding Made for Television Movie, as well as the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie to Claire Danes for her highly accurate portrayal of Grandin. I talked about this film in an earlier post, and it’s certainly worth watching if you haven’t seen it yet.

Grandin was interviewed on the red carpet, dressed in her traditional western wear, rather than the typical Hollywood gown. She talked about her hopes in making the film. (I apologize for any transcription errors.)

“The other thing I hope this movie's going to do is educate people about autism...it's very accurate, my visual thinking,... sound sensitivity, touch sensitivity, visual sensitivity, anxiety, and also to show that people with autism really can do things and they can really succeed.… motivating some of these young people, that they can get out and they can do things.”

Grandin was articulate and well spoken in her own quirky way, and, as always, inspiring about what all individuals can accomplish. The film highlights both the difficulties Grandin had growing up, as well as how her autistic traits were those very strengths that allow her to succeed. Grandin's mother, whom she acknowledged during the ceremony, is portrayed as truly supportive and one of the reasons that Grandin is so successful.

Asperger’s and the TV Show "Parenthood"

The NBC show "Parenthood" has brought increasing attention to the diagnosis of Asperger’s, with one of the show’s characters, Max Braverman, newly diagnosed with Asperger’s. With a large, multigenerational cast about many family members, Asperger’s is not the focus of the show, but just one storyline.  I like that aspect, because it’s so realistic; the family copes with Asperger’s, its treatment, symptoms and behaviors, but life doesn’t stop. Work continues, other family members have their own needs, the parents have a relationship that includes dealing Asperger’s, but other aspects as well. 

One recent episode, Team Braverman, focused on the family’s participation in an autism fundraiser. An interesting aspect was that the episode raised the question of when to tell a child about his own diagnosis, something which clients ask me frequently. In the show, Max’s parents asked their vaguely defined diagnosing professional, Dr Pelikan, about what to tell their son. His advice was that there is no one answer, but it was important not to “burden him with information he’s not going to be able to process.” and “when it’s time to talk to him about it, you’re going to know: Max is going to tell you.” The parents later state that this advice is not very helpful, and not very comforting. At the end of the episode, Max asks what I view as the perfect opening question for a discussion of his diagnosis: “Why we did we give the money (we raised) to autism? There are lots of other charities.” Dad Adam looks thoughtful, but passes on the opportunity to have a meaningful discussion about his son’s diagnosis, instead commenting on the trophy.

I agree that children need an age appropriate explanation, but in my experience, kids never seem to find this information a “burden”, instead it’s typically a relief, because they’re aware that their behavior and relationships aren’t like those of other kids. I also agree that kids ask questions when they want to have more information, but they may be subtle questions. Just like with other difficult discussions, parents, like Adam Braverman, can easily miss the cues if they’re not comfortable having the discussion. Shows like Parenthood can be so valuable because they allow parents a bit of practice time to think about these issues before confronting them in their own families. If you missed it, Team Braverman, season 1, episode 12, which aired May 18, 2010, is available online.

Asperger’s Syndrome on the PBS Show Arthur

Starting Monday, April 5, 2010, the PBS show Arthur is introducing a new character, Carl, who has Asperger’s Syndrome. You can read about the episode on the Autism Society website.
I don't follow Arthur regularly, so I can't comment on the program.  But, TV is an excellent way for you to open a discussion on the condition with your diagnosed child as well as his or her siblings. Asperger's is a broad spectrum and kids will have a variety or behaviors. Watching the show together then lets you talk about things like how similar Carl's behavior is to your child's, and how the kids at Carl's school treat him, compared to the kids your child goes to school with.

Using Television to Teach Teens Social Skills

Social skills get more subtle once kids reach high school, and that’s a time when many teens with autism, Asperger’s and ADHD really start to struggle with friends and peer relationships. Often, these kids have gone through the basic social skills training at school or in a social skills group when they were younger. By now, they want nothing more to do with a formal class, but they’re still missing out on some of the more subtle details.

I thought TV episodes might be a useful, fun way to help teens look at social signals. Although the plots of a lot of teen programs are pretty unrealistic, the situations more mature, and the conversations often more adult and introspective than teens really use, the settings are familiar, and the programs are something teens will relate to. They also tend to use body language, but in a bolder, broader way, which can be easier for teens on the spectrum to pick up on. Finally, because these scenes are online, you can watch and rewatch as many times as you want to catch the details, even muting the dialogue to shift focus to the nonverbals.

This week I’m looking at some personal space and nonverbal communication issues as illustrated by the show Glee. You can see these episodes on Hulu.com for free. Note to parents: some of you may object to the more mature themes in this program. I’ll be looking for other shows to comment on as well, but before banning the program, consider if this is something all the other kids at school are watching. Not having seen a popular show can make it hard for kids to fit in. You can watch together, and discuss issues, such as is this scenario realistic, or appropriate, or does this fit with your own values. (If you have a particular show that’s online that you’d like me to analyze, please comment here, or send me an email.)

In Glee, Season 1 Episode 9, Wheels, the show starts with scenes of cheerleading practice. Sitting alone in the bleachers is blonde Quinn, soon to be joined by tall, dark haired Finn. (If you’re new to this show, it might not be obvious from the ways they’re acting that these two are a couple.) Notice the tense body language. As Finn approaches, he doesn’t greet Quinn, he just sits down, at a distance that’s not typical for a dating couple having a one on one conversation. Quinn doesn’t turn to Finn, she doesn’t lean toward him or adjust her body posture, she barely even looks at him. Before anything is said, and without knowing anything about the plot, it’s clear that this pair is not feeling close and connected. Throughout their scene together, Quinn only turns her eyes or occasionally her face to Finn, never her shoulders or the rest of her body, a clear sign of discord between the pair.

Now look at Season 1, Episode 10, Ballad. The show starts with all the students sitting on the bleachers, spaced evenly with almost mathematical precision. (Your teen may not be aware of this spacing rule, but it’s pretty consistent in our culture. People tend to space themselves out fairly evenly, sitting closer to close friends, but not sitting next to strangers unless the space gets more crowded. Think about a movie theater. If it’s almost empty, sitting in adjacent seats is something only friends do. Strangers space themselves out. As the theater fills, it’s not threatening or inappropriate to sit next to strangers.) The exception to the Glee bleacher spacing, which may not be obvious to kids who don’t pick up on social cues, is Quinn and Finn, sitting together as a couple. Finn’s posture isn’t that different than in the previous episode, but now Quinn is leaning into Finn, almost draped on him. Clearly, she is in a different mood than the previous episode. Notice also that the rest of the students are angled slightly toward the center, indicating some cohesion, and friendship alliances can be gauged just by noting who is sitting together. When the teacher asks, “Who knows what a ballad is?” notice how Rachel immediately thrusts up her hand with too much enthusiasm. Can your child glean information about Rachel’s character from this simple action?

Well, I’ve watched about 5 minutes of TV, and written a full post on the details. What details can you and your teen pick up from body language?

Temple Grandin Movie Premiers This Saturday on HBO

Don't forget, the Temple Grandin movie is premiering on February 6,
2010 on HBO! Most of my readers are familiar with Temple Grandin, PhD,
perhaps the most well known autistic person in America, as well as the
designer of almost half the cattle handling equipment in North America.
Dr. Grandin is inspiring because of her clear presentation and writing
style, as well as the way she’s learned to adapt the strengths of her
diagnosis to accomplish things she probably wouldn’t have been able to
if she weren’t autistic. Dr. Grandin remains a free thinker, an
individual who lives a life that is meaningful for her, and expands our
own vision (whether autistic or neurotypical) of what a successful life can be.
Our society so frequently presents one way of succeeding in the world, with a fixed idea on success, relationships and how we should behave. Dr. Grandin is an example to all of us on how success can really be defined by the individual. Although she writes about learning social skills and has adapted to a neurotypical world in some ways, at the same time she remains true to herself, defining her own needs and wishes with regard to career and relationship. I always enjoy Dr. Grandin's writing, and I'm looking forward to this movie.

Girls and the Media

Girls with Asperger’s and autism seem to be more involved with TV, movies and the whole celebrity culture than neurotypical girls. For these girls, the restricted interests that are a part of the autism spectrum often fall into the realm of pop culture and celebrities. Add in the facts that these girls aren’t connecting as well with their peers, and often struggle athletically, and the result is that teen and tween girls on the spectrum can spend all their free time watching favorite TV shows, reading about celebrities and Googling them on the internet.

One big concern about this is that the messages the media send to young girls are anything but positive. Pressures about image and consumerism are rampant. Girls may feel they can’t measure up. It’s not surprising because the media images are not just unrealistic, but often completely false.

There are some fascinating sites online that show just how invalid media ideals can be. Check them out with your own daughter, and have a conversation about what the media is presenting as beautiful. Jamie Lee Curtis started the whole discussion years ago, by allowing photographers to document her appearance before and after a team of experts polished up her appearance. Dove has a great campaign including a fascinating video called Evolution, showing how makeup and Photoshop transform an attractive, but normal, young woman into a billboard image. There are other sites that show some of the worst offenders of modified images from magazine covers. 
You can't change what your daughter finds fascinating, but paying attention and connecting over her interests can make a positive difference in your relationship and her self esteem.

PBS Series: This Emotional Life

PBS is airing a new documentary called This Emotional Life. It’s being shown January 4,5,and 6, 2010, at 8 p.m. I haven’t seen the show, but the previews talk a lot about emotional connection as it impacts our well being.

A portion of the documentary looks specifically at Asperger’s and a young man named Jason who’s dealing with the issues surrounding Asperger’s and connecting socially. For those who follow this blog through the Autism Hub, you’re probably already familiar with Jason, but others might want to check out his blog, Drive Mom Crazy.

Oprah, Jenny McCarthy, and Autism

Like most middle aged American women, I’m a big fan of  Oprah. Her shows are inspiring, informative and cover every topic. I read her magazine cover to cover. That’s why it’s so frustrating to watch Oprah give Jenny McCarthy free rein to discuss everything related to autism. True, Jenny is the mom of a boy who’s been diagnosed with autism. I don’t object to hearing her share her experiences of raising her son. But this doesn’t mean that Jenny is suddenly an expert in epidemology, medical science, vaccine studies, or even the divorce rate of parents with autistic kids.
I missed the original September broadcast of Jenny McCarthy discussing her Warrior Mother book on Oprah, but I watched the rerun last week. Lots of emotion, big statements, but little respect for facts or science. Autism is a complicated issue. Vaccines are not only a complicated issue but an issue that’s critical to our health. Couldn’t Oprah present us with a balanced, fact based discussion of autism and vaccines?
After this show aired, the blog LeftBrainRightBrain posted a link from Every Child by Two. This organization is asking Oprah fans to contact the Oprah website directly and request a more balanced vaccine show. You can go to Oprah directly and submit your request. Better yet, read the full post on LeftBrainRightBrain.
Did you wonder about Jenny’s 90% divorce rate statement? I can’t find a study that shows that rate. But I did find a more moderate discussion of the topic, along with a referenced study, on About.com/autism.
Parents deserve the right to make decisions based on facts and science, not hype from entertainers.

Movie About Social Skills for Teens: American Teen

As your child enters middle school, junior high, or high school, it can get especially difficult for you as a  parent to help with social skills. This can be a problem because older kids are dealing with a more complex social environment than they were when they were younger, and many kids who managed in the early school years really start to struggle as they get older.

One problem is that parents of older kids just aren’t as involved with the school as they used to be. There’s less of an opportunity to volunteer, your kids may no longer want parents around, the kids are coming from a larger geographic area, the school is bigger, there are multiple teachers who may not really know your teenager. For many reasons, it may seem as if you are sending your child off into unknown territory to manage academically and socially, and you can’t understand that world.

That’s why movies, books, or TV can be a useful communication tool for kids and parents. You can watch or read together, enter the same world together, and use that as a way to understand what your child goes through every day. From there, you can help your child figure out and manage all the subtle social things that go on at school every day.

One movie that’s very useful for this purpose is the 2008 Sundance film American Teen. American Teen is a documentary about the 2005 graduation class of tiny, rural Warsaw, Indiana. This film doesn’t tackle the larger issues that may be impacting many teens. There no talk of gangs or violence, and little mention of multicultural issues, drugs, and all the heavy problems facing today’s teens. Instead this film focuses on the same universal issues that teenagers have been dealing with for generations, namely friendships, young love, bullying, and pressure. Peer pressure, social pressure, academic and athletic pressure, pressure from parents, and maybe the biggest pressure of all, that universal concern about what’s going to happen after graduation.

As a first step, go watch this film with your son or daughter. It’s rated PG-13, and contains themes and language some parents may object to.  Kids-in-Mind, (http://www.kids-in-mind.com/a/americanteen.htm), a very useful movie rating website that ranks movies on a scale of 1 to 10 in three categories, Sex and Nudity, Violence and Gore, and Profanity, has given American Teen a score of 3-4-5. (If you’re not comfortable seeing this film with your kids, consider watching it yourself to get back in touch with those memories of high school pressures, cliques and the really cruel way kids can behave. But remember, your kids’ daily world at school would probably be rated at least a PG-13 as well.)

Many teens who struggle with social skills aren’t very skillful at analyzing the social landscape of their school. That’s one area where this movie can help.  All the standard high school stereotypes are represented here: the popular girl, the jock, the outcast, the prom king, the emotional girl. These may be stereotypes, but that doesn’t mean they’re not real, or that these kids don’t exist at your child’s school. It really eases basic social navigation if your child can figure out who plays these roles at his school. Then some of the “rules” become clearer, things like: just because a teen is popular doesn’t mean she’s nice, there’s a lot of pressure to date within your own clique, kids aren’t necessarily nice to their own friends. See if you can come up with your own list of some of the rules at your teenager’s school. How is the film school different from your teen's?


On a more advanced level, this film will allow your teen to view peers with a more balanced vision. At school, you really don’t know why somebody is treating you badly, because you can’t understand the other side of the story. Because this film shows what’s going on for many kids, your teen can get a different perspective. See if you can move beyond the broad strikes. Are the class winners under pressure too? Do bad things happen to them also? Is the outcast left out because he's a bad guy? Learning to view everyone as a full human being, with strengths and weaknesses, triumphs and failures, goes a long way toward developing more mature social skills.


One character in the film is a self proclaimed social outcast. He makes a real effort throughout the film to connect socially, especially with girls. Watching his awkward yet sincere attempts at relationships should give you and your teen plenty of material for discussion. What did he do well, and where did he fumble the situation? Are there times he wasn’t very attuned to his partner?


Finally, just use this film to empathize with your teen’s situation. It seems like everyone in the film is struggling and even the most popular kids are not having a great time. Everyone, even the school’s basketball god, has to deal with the same issues about moving on from high school. Your child spends hours every day dealing with the pressures of school. A few hours with this movie will help you remember what that's like.

Michael Savage Blames Parents for Autism

I just watched a You Tube video of Michael Savage discussing autism and parenting, and felt I had to write something. Generally, I try to make this blog useful and practical, but not controversial or reactionary. Also, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. After all, I didn’t listen to Michael Savage’s entire program, just a few out-of-context minutes. In any case, I don’t want to focus on negative energy from anyone, when so many people are working so hard to make the world a better place. Should I even comment about statements that seem so extreme, angry and unjustified?


But then I started thinking about the parents I’ve worked with, parents who read my blog or visit my web site, or parents who bring their children in to see me. Generally, whether the children have a diagnosis or not, the parents are doing the very best they can. When a child is struggling with some issue, I find that the parents are looking for answers, some way to make their child’s life better.


The autism community is filled with positive, educated, devoted parents. Of course, there are differences of opinion, sometimes extreme and even angry, on causes, treatments, even whether or not to attempt to “cure” autism. But behind it all is a general core idea that parents want their children to have happy and productive lives. Then someone like Michael Savage comes along and makes extreme and blaming comments. Should parents who are trying so hard to take care of their children have to deal with this sort of thing?


Psychology has a long and sad history of blaming parents, usually the mother, whenever a child is different. Just do some research on Freud’s theories of homosexuality, Bettelheim and Kanner on autism and Lidz on schizophrenia. These theories are discredited in professional circles, but they still jump up on occasion, like with Michael Savage’s statements.


I think this idea is most damaging to the parents of newly diagnosed children. These parents, usually struggling to determine the best treatment for their children, are often overwhelmed with the huge amount of information on autism, coupled with a very real lack of knowledge over what is the best treatment. The last thing they need is blame that they caused the issues or that they made the whole thing up.


One of my favorite psychological theorists is Donald Winnicott. He was a pediatrician in the middle of the 20th century, both well respected in the most elite psychoanalytic circles and, at the same time, able to  write in simple, accessible terms to actual parents. Winnicott wrote extensively about the idea of the “good enough mother”, which is the idea that children don’t need, in fact, don’t even do well, with a perfect parent who meets all their needs. Instead children need an attuned parent, one who is attempting to take care of them. I think this is an idea that is especially important to keep in mind when working with kids who are struggling, whether socially, academically, or emotionally. 


As difficult as this whole controversy can be, I think it can focus the entire autism community on Winnicott’s message. All children, autistic and neurotypical both, need caring, loving parents, not perfect parents.