Video Games and Depression

So many of the ASD or ADHD clients who come to see me are spending hours a day online or playing video games. And, they are often dealing with depression and social isolation as well. Of course, as an engineer, I well understand that correlation does not indicate causation But, as a therapist, I recognize that many of my clients have interest in social connections, and they want to have interesting lives, but the effort to do these things is pretty stressful. Video games provide an anxiety management tool, as well as an experience that is both immediately gratifying and at the same time low stress. 

Along these lines of thought, The New York Times published an article titled Video Games and the Depressed Teenager.  For now, excessive internet and video use is not technically an addiction, although it is a topic of further study in the new DSM 5, which is going to be published this spring. 

I think it’s important for parents and young adults to consider these results in deciding their standards for online activities in their own homes. Many parents think addition is an appropriate term, because they can see how their own kids and teens behave when they are deprived of their gaming time. For many, less screen time seems to result in calmer and happier moods.

Alameda County Transition Fair

Both Alameda and Contra Costa Counties present annual transition fairs, designed to bring together young adults with special needs with the venders and agencies who can help them transtion to adult living situations and employment. Because the fairs only occur once a year, I encourage teens, young adults and their parents to attend these events early, so they can start learning about the services available.

Alameda is holding their 2013 Transition Fair this year on March 16. You can find more information on their Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/events/411555572244926/.

Sensory Overload Video

Sensory Overload (Interacting with Autism Project) from Miguel Jiron on Vimeo.

Here is an interesting video on sensory overload from the Interacting with Autism project.

I don't have this issue so I'm not an expert, but some people have commented that this is pretty accurate.

Stage Show

I just got a notice of a stage show on parenting an autistic child presented next week at the Dean Lesher Center in Walnut Creek. I haven't seen the show, but it has good online reviews. The show, A Real Man is October 26, 2012, at 8:15 pm.

Get more info at http://www.lesherartscenter.org/

Loving Someone With Asperger’s: Book Review

Both Loving Someone With Asperger’s , by Cindy N. Ariel, Ph.D and The Journal of Best Practices, by David Finch, reviewed in my last post, are about the topic of marriage between  a neurotypical and an individual on the autism spectrum, but other than that similarity, the books could not be more different. While The Journal of Best Practices is a lighthearted, and distinctly readable memoir, Loving Someone With Asperger’s is really a handbook for understanding each other, communicating, and ultimately changing.


The author, Cindy Ariel, is a psychologist with years of experience working with individuals on the spectrum, and that experience is reflected in the material she writes about. The book covers every conceivable topic, from communication, to anger, to emotional connection. Appropriately, it begins with a focus on the strengths of autism and what autism can bring to the relationship. This is important, because struggling couples so often focus on the differences between them, it can be healing to remember why the marriage began in the first place.

Although I admire the book, I hesitate to recommend it. Any couple with the insight to examine their marriage to the depth and detail this book suggests is probably in a pretty solid relationship already. For those couples who are struggling, the introspection and self awareness the book requires is probably too much to expect a couple to reach independently.

I do think this book would be an excellent adjunct to therapy. Along with the guidance and impartiality provided by a strong professional, many couples could use the workbook exercises to deepen and further their understanding and expectations for each other.

Local Event:Transition Panel Discussion

There’s been a lot of discussion in the media lately about the long term employment prospects for special needs adults, after a study was published earlier this month in Pediatrics, so it’s very timely that the Berkeley College Internship Program is offering a free panel discussion.

The event, Thinking Positive About the Future: Insights into College, Independence and Employment For Young Adults with Asperger’s, ADHD and Other Learning Differences, will be held on Wednesday, June 27, 2012, from 5 to 7:30 pm.

From the flier: “Parents and Professionals are invited to join us for an informative evening event at CIP Berkeley's newly expanded location in downtown Berkeley, CA. The event will include presentations by several guest speakers who work with the ASD and LD community; offering advice on the key stages of transition to adulthood including: letting go, adjusting to college, finding success in the workplace, and achieving independence.”

The event is free, but space is limited, so reserve in advance.

Book Review: The Journal of Best Practices

The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband The Journal of Best Practices, A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be a Better Husband, by David Finch, is an entertaining and enlightening book. The author, upon realizing that his five year old marriage is in serious trouble, and learning that he has Asperger’s Syndrome, decides to methodically improve his marriage and be a better father as well.

Finch starts out his quest by attempting to fix his autism, then realizes that the issue is in improving the marriage itself. Finch takes on this task in a detailed and methodical way, attempting to figure out the rules of the big picture by painstakingly noting the patterns around all the details. He comes up with a list of changes he can make, not really changes in himself, because it is clear that his wife already loves him, but more changes in how he treats his family.

I enjoyed the humor in the book, as well as Fitch’s unswerving honesty in looking at himself. He repeatedly moves from cluelessness, where he isn't meaning any harm, although he might be causing a great deal of it, to understanding. I think this is a key insight for neurotypical partners to come to, and a good reason for them to read this book. With a disorder that makes it difficult to impossible to understand one’s partner’s feelings, the inevitable misunderstandings are not deliberate. It can be a lot easier for a spouse to forgive an unintended harm.

Because Finch really struggles to understand his wife's point of view, she remains quite a mystery to the reader as well. I found myself searching online after I finished the book to try to get a feel for her voice. At the same time, my experience of not knowing her is a useful sample in helping us neurotypicals understand for a moment what Finch experiences with his wife.

Tthis book can also be useful for individuals on the spectrum. The idea of being a caring partner can be quite an abstract goal. In my practice, I always try to move from the abstract to the concrete, and examples are a great way to do so. The examples in this book take the abstract ideas about being a good husband and father and bring them to life in a more concrete and useful fashion.