Thinking About Other’s Minds

Rebecca Saxe is a neuroscientist at MIT, studying Theory of Mind. Theory of Mind is the understanding about how we think about ourselves and others, or as Simon Baron-Cohen phrased it in Theory of Mind in Normal Development and Autism, (2001), “to be able to reflect on the contents of one’s own and other’s minds.” This is an important concept from the viewpoint of autism and Asperger’s, because many researchers attribute deficits in Theory of Mind to some of the struggles those on the autism spectrum might be having.

Rebecca Saxe has been researching the brain using fMRI, and identified the region, called the Right Temporo-Parietal Junction, that is activated when we’re thinking about other’s thoughts You can hear a brief, but informative and entertaining talk by her on Ted.com, titled How We Read Each Other’s Minds. She talks about her work and also demonstrates some interviews with children of various stages of development. You have to register, but the site is free, and full of fascinating presentations.

Local Bay Area Special Education Resource

Special education and the legal issues surrounding it are very complex topics. Parents need to know their rights and responsibilities, and what their child is entitled to. For parents in the San Francisco Bay Area, the Leigh Law Group is presenting a workshop for parents and professionals on Special Education: Rights to Related Services in the Public Schools. The training event is November 14th, 2009, in San Francisco, and it’s only $10.00. 
I’ll state right up front that I’m not familiar with this group, and I don’t know the presenters, but the topic is so crucial, I’m guessing this could be a valuable morning. I think they run these regularly, so you might want to get on the mailing list. If you do attend, please send me a note and let me know how the presentation was.

Book Review: Mother in the Middle by Sybil Lockhart

Mother in the Middle is a fascinating book, a moving and personal memoir of a woman’s experience with raising small children while at the same time caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s. But the author is also a neurobiologist, and she beautifully interweaves her own technical perspective into the work. It’s this unique juxtaposition that makes this memoir stand out from others.

Usually, I review books about careers, business, social skills or autism and Asperger’s on this blog. And this is not a book about any of those topics. But I think it’s appropriate for this blog anyway. Human development, mental illness, emotions, thoughts, behavior and personality are all controlled by our nervous systems, but we’re still at the early stages of understanding those systems. For those of us who aren’t neuroscientists, making the connection between the brain structures and human experiences can be especially difficult. This book makes those connections. Life events and biology come together clearly. The fact that the author is also a teacher makes her explanations that much clearer.

As an example, at one point in the book the author narrates an event where her mother completely forgets about an important loan she made. The memoir moves smoothly from discussing the event to describing what’s actually taking place in her mother’s changing brain. The technical explanations are beautifully balanced with the honest and insightful experiences the author and her mother are going through. The growth and development of her children's abilities contrast dramatically with her mother's declines.

I love books that combine the personal with science. Maybe that’s because I’m an engineer as well as a therapist and coach. But, I think examples help all of us understand, and true life examples can really make a technical discussion come to life. That’s what this book does so well.

Book Review: No More Meltdowns by Jed Baker, Ph.D.

No More Meltdowns by Jed Baker, Ph.D. is an excellent resource for parents trying to deal with their child’s out of control behavior, whether the kids have a diagnosis or not. This book is straightforward, with a simple step by step plan for dealing with tantrums and meltdowns. At the same time, there are plenty of detailed examples that show how to fit the simple plan to complex situations.
Certainly parenting is tougher when children have special needs, like an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Asperger’s or Attention Deficit (ADHD or ADD). And frequently these parents have to also deal with harsh judgment from the world every time their kids act up. Too often, parents are simply told to be firm, be consistent, take control, and their kids will behave. Well, what should parents do if they are firm and consistent, and it still doesn’t help? This book offers some solutions, and since the author has experience dealing with special needs kids, the ideas are realistic and practical for all families.
Baker acknowledges the basic rule of of child rearing, using consistent rewards and consequences. And that’s a good place for all parents to start. But he quickly moves beyond that to a four step plan of action for when this basic plan just doesn’t work. His model begins with accepting the child, then moves on to de-escalating a meltdown, understanding why the meltdowns are occurring in the first place and preventing future meltdowns.   
The real heart of the book is its detailed analysis to understand why meltdowns are occurring, and the techniques to set up a plan to prevent them in the future. Baker breaks down the different issues that might cause problems, then methodically explains how to change the triggers causing the tantrums, teaching the child skills to deal with the triggers, and how to set up a system of rewards and losses.
One thing I really appreciated in No More Meltdowns was the way that Baker exhibits respect and understanding of the children and parents in his examples. These aren’t presented as bad, out of control kids, with ineffective parents. Instead Baker acknowledges the difficulties of these tough situations and focuses on both short term crisis management and also long term skill building. This is a book I’ll be sure to recommend to my clients.

Anger Management and Asperger's Part 1: Understanding Anger

Anger management is an problem for many individuals, whether or not they have Asperger’s or an ASD. It’s one of the topics that gets searched for most frequently by readers of this blog. In an earlier post I referenced an Anger Management article I wrote for Autism Asperger’s Digest Magazine, but until now I haven’t written anything on anger management specifically for this blog. Because anger management is such a big topic, I’m not going to attempt to cover it all in one post.

We’ve all had that feeling of anger growing, and getting out of control. Sometimes when we lose our tempers, a part of us may even know it’s happening, but the anger still seems to have taken on a life of its own. Anger management techniques can help us manage before the situation gets out of control.

With my therapy clients who are dealing with ADHD, autism, or Asperger’s and anger, I start by exploring what anger is. Most important: anger is not a bad emotion! Anger is powerful, strong and it drives people to make changes in situations that just aren’t working. So the point is not to eradicate anger, but to control it. To manage it.

Another important fact about anger is that the emotion often exists concurrently with other emotions. People may react with rage when what they’re really feeling is disappointment, shame or guilt, fear, or sadness. All of those other emotion can have an aspect of weakness and powerlessness. It may feel safer and more empowered to shift that helpless feeling over to the power of rage. I often ask clients to reflect on what the emotion behind the anger is. What’s the uncomfortable feeling the anger covers?

Next we’ll explore the physical sensation of anger and how important that knowledge can be for managing it. Please check back for further posts !

Playing Outside

Playing outside is one of the core experiences we all remember from childhood, but all too often it doesn’t happen for kids with special needs like Asperger’s, autism and ADHD. And that’s really a shame, because outdoor play is often the easiest way for all sorts of diverse personalities, abilities, and ages to interact.

School politics can get very specific, with each child interacting with only the chosen few in a social clique. Different ages, groups and genders rarely mix at school. But kids aren’t quite so particular when it comes to neighborhood play. A lot of that just comes from opportunity. In neighborhood play, there just aren’t so many kids to choose from. It’s not uncommon for neighbors who’d never talk at school to spend days together at home, having a great time. There’s nothing wrong with this. Schools can be about cliques, but home can be much more open. Not every neighborhood friend has to turn into a best friend at school.
The great thing about outdoor play is that it’s unstructured. There aren’t rules like there might be in team sports, there aren’t even goals or objectives. Kids can just run around, invent new games and be creative. And that’s where kids with ADHD and ASDs can really shine. Their creativity and energy may make these kids the highly sought after playmates.
Why don’t you give it a try? Make sure your children are spending some time in the front yard where the neighbors can find them. Pay attention to where other kids live. Then, maybe your child can take the plunge. Parents have to step back here, but it’s easy to coach your child. Just ring the doorbell, ask for the child and say something really basic like, “Hi, I’m Matthew. Do you want to come out and play?” That’s it. That may be all it take for your child to interact with peers, spend time outside, and probably have a great time.

Getting the Job Done: Creating a Visual Plan

As I discussed in my previous post on managing procrastination and distraction, getting lost in the details can make it very difficult for anyone to finish, or even start, a project. For those with ASDs or ADHD, this can be even more troublesome. One technique I’ve found to be useful for many clients is to create some sort of visual plan of the project. Taking time to think about the goal, organizing the details, and jotting it down on paper will give you something to refer back to while working.

Here’s an example of a simple outline you might use to stay on track while completing a project. I’ve chosen the topic I’m working on right now: writing this post. (I’m typing this for the blog, but I’d only scribble it down in real life.)

Goal: Writing a Blog Post on Procrastination and Distraction

                    1. Reread previous post on this topic
                    2. Consider steps involved
                    3. Create examples:

                    A. Detailed list
                    B. Detail cloud

                     4. Find appropriate pictures to illustrate

                    A. Dog
                    B. Snack

                     5. Copy and paste document into blogging software
                     6. Create links and finalize details on blog
                     7. Publish
Here’s an example of a less structured detail list. You can make the more important steps larger and bolder.

Goal: Writing a Blog Post on Procrastination and Distraction

                    Find Pictures                                     Reread previous post
                                          Create examples   
                                                Publish                 Create links
                    Copy and paste into blogging software           Plan steps involved
               
That’s it! These are both pretty straightforward and it only took a minute or two to put them together. Now, while you’re working you’ve got a very clear idea of what you should be doing to accomplish the job.
If you decide to pet the dog:

or get a snack:

it’s pretty clear that you’re off topic. But, I think it’s more frequent that people get pulled into the details, and then wander around off topic. Finding a picture of an apple can turn into sorting through all the pictures in the photo library, or wandering from topic to topic in an internet search. That’s where the list helps. You’ve determined the goal: writing a post, and browsing internet photos has nothing to do with that. It’s a clear example of when you need to pull yourself back to work.

If you’re more auditory than visual, recording a list can be helpful. Whatever works for you is fine, just take a few moments to plan, set a goal, and then check back with your plan frequently.